TKG KNOW: Why you should resist the temptation to say, “You look so cute today!”

At TKG, we invite parents to join us in the classroom and work as Parent Teachers.  This resource post focuses on phrases that support learning and socializing without judgement or evaluation.
Sometimes we get caught up in the beautiful moment and we want to compliment – it is normal. Or perhaps,  “wow, your t-shirt is covered in paint! Did you get any on the paper?” bubbles out.  We’re not saying you can’t give students positive feedback or try to make things fun. All children need encouragement and silliness. Do your best to avoid provoking their feelings of being judged. Notice how they go into self-conscious introspection when they look down at their shirt and try make sense of what you just said…

So, the delivery of our encouragement and/or comments really matters. Remember, this is a practice and no one has it down perfectly. At TKG, we encourage non-judgmental observation to help keep the flow, be in social situations and scaffold learning. Here are some examples:
Rock Collection
1. Empathize with his excitement and be specific. 
Wow, you are doing addition!” 
“You climbed the tree!”
2. Let her know you’re really seeing her not what she is wearing.
“I like your hat. Tell me about it.”3. Empower by pointing out the results of her choices.

“Your friend is happy to have a turn.”

4. Encourage effort rather than results.  Let them evaluate.

“You’re working so hard on that….I am here with you.” 

Do you like the way it came out? Tell me about it. Would you like to try again?”

5. Express your own feelings, including gratitude.

“I love working with you! Thanks so much for sharing this time with me.”

Thank you Dr.Laura for inspiring some of our communication tools, please visit to get more parenting tips…

Comments are closed.