Parenting Pearl: Communication Basics

For those of you joining our Parent & Me class this week, here is what we’re working on. Drop in is always available!  Eventbrite - TKG Parent & Me//Play & Education Group

Our June/July Session will be about: Communication Basics
In this class, we’ll review communication tools from programs we use at TKG, such as non-violent communication, Hand in Hand Parenting, Gordon Institute and Echo Parenting to name a few. We’ll talk about the philosophy behind why parent/child communication skills are so important to the healthy development of children and how to implement them in our best way.

6/25’s Topic Guide

1. The Foundation For Creating A Relationship With Your Child
a. What your idea of this is?
b. Learning through relationship; the value of trust in parent
c. Growth Mindset – longterm goals
d. Peaceful Parenting/Unconditional Parenting/Attachment Parenting- Brain science of relationship
e. Rewards & Punishments

Article Resource: What Kids Need From Grown-Ups (But Aren’t Getting)/NPR

2. The Building Blocks For Creating This
a. Whole child – physicial/cognitive/social-emotional health balance
b. Getting on child’s level (physically and empathetically)
c. How this creates a difference in how children feel when us as much taller adults are speaking to them.
d. Helps create a more comfortable space for children to talk, and to listen

Article Resource: How To Help Your Child Talk: Get Down At His/Her Level And Make Eye Contact

3. Empathy
a. “I” statements-Owning our own needs, feelings, acceptances, limitations…
i. “I am needing …” “I am feeling …” “I am not willing ….”
b. modeling this for the children in our lives
c. Reflection practice

4. Conflict Resolution
a. The language of limits
i. “I See that you… I’m Wondering if you need… I’m Avaliable to…”
ii. “How can I Help?”
iii. “Are you OK with that? If not, tell him/her in a strong voice”
iv. “That is not okay with me because…”

Article Resource: A Word About Conflict Resolution from Bev Bos

5. Big Feelings
a. how to support children through these
b. Self-care. how to keep our balance, and support ourselves during these times

Article Resource: The Benefits of Helping Preschoolers Understand and Discuss Their Emotions 


What Does It Mean To Have a Nonviolent Relationship with Me? (from Echo Parenting & Education)

• Treat me in a way that nourishes me
• Treat me kindly, with respect.
• Treat me fairly and justly
• Let me live free of coercion, fear and threats, as well as all emotional words that hurt me
• Acknowledge and appreciate me for who I am. Celebrate with me my discoveries. Mourn with me my
sadness and frustrations.
• Understand that everything I do is motivated by my desire to meet my basic human needs.
• Validate my feelings with empathy and compassion.
• I want to be loved, and to love fully and deeply.
• I want to feel completely safe. Give me limits that help me grow and understand the world around me.
• I want to feel included and to feel I belong.
• I want to feel powerful, that I matter, and that I can make a difference.

There are many ways to refill your cup and we encourage you to take care of yourself. Notice your physical, cognitive and emotional needs to help your practice of reflection and empathy for yourself and others.

• Listening Partnerships When two parents exchange listening time, taking turns to talk uninterrupted and without offering advice, it can make a world of difference. A listening partnership is founded in the belief that Each person is deeply loving and intelligent by nature, and each person is the real expert on his or her own affairs. As you listen, your role will be to help your partner focus on her/his thinking, goals, and experience – and then you switch roles. Over time, the respect you offer each other will help to build your confidence in your own caring and intelligence. You will more successfully tackle and learn from the challenges you face. (not your partner) Read the complete resource:
• Journaling, to help practice acceptance and non-judgement. Taking a few minutes to jot down your thoughts and emotions (no editing!) will quickly get you in touch with your internal world, reduce stress and problem solving intelligence.
• Mindfulness Paying attention to your brain builds intelligence and self-awareness. Acknowledging your emotions builds authenticity. Meaningful relationships foster happiness. Mindfulness does not require a skill or a meditation – it is making the effort to pay attention to where you are and what you are doing.

Reading Fun
Eric Erikson PhD – stages of psychosocial development
Bev Bos – Early Childhood Education (
Dr. Laura Markham- Aha! Parenting (ahaparenting,org)
Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting (
Aletha Solter PhD – Aware Parenting (
Faber & Mazlish – Peaceful Parent/Child Relations (
Dan Siegel PhD – Understanding the “internal world of the mind” (
Martin Luther King Jr. – non-violence
Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements
Richard Louv – “Connections between family, nature and community.”
Larry Cohen, PhD – joining children in their world of play, focusing on connection and confidence, giggling and roughhousing, and following your child’s lead.
Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children, Thomas Gordon
Yardsticks: Children in the Classroom Ages 4-14, Chip Wood
Choice Words, Peter H. Johnston

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